MEN IN BLACK
actually i prefer the second one... but at the moment i can't find it...
The difference between you and me? I make this look good.
- Jay
KAY : Not so fast. Walk up slow.
JAY : Why?
KAY : Part of the routine. Makes it look like we're sizing up the situation. Gives her time to get the wrong impression.
JAY : That's what he said. Didn't he? Right after he -- Oh, for Christ's sake, you did the flashy thing already.
LAUREL : Uh, hi, whoever you guys are, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some ID if you're going to be in the morgue, okay?
KAY : Sure thing, sweetheart. Here you go.
*flash*
JAY : Stop that --
KAY : Typical day, too much caffeine, get a life. (to laurel)
JAY : -- that thing probably gives you brain cancer!
KAY : Never hurt her before.
JAY : "Never hurt her before"?! How many times have you done the flashy thing to this poor woman?!
KAY : Couple.
JAY : Aren't you worried about, you know, long term damage?
KAY : Little bit.
JAY : What the hell happened to make you such a callous son of a bitch?
KAY : I took this job.
JAY : Hey, have you ever flashy thing me?
KAY : Nah.
JAY : I'm asking you, have you ever flashy thing-ed me?
*exit morgue*
JAY : Hey, Kay, I really think I should be in charge of the flashy memory thing department.
KAY : Not while I'm around, Slim.
JAY : Yeah, well you're a menace with that thing...
KAY : (to an MIB Agent) We've got two dead aliens in there, and a deputy medical coroner in need of a new memory.
*seeing Jay's face* Make it a... happy memory.
You humans, when're you gonna learn that size doesn't matter? Just 'cause something's important, doesn't mean it's not very, very small.
- Frank the pug
JAY : I'll handle this one, you wait outside.
KAY : What the hell for?
JAY : Because all we have to do is walk in and get a cat, it's not that hard. But if you go in, you're gonna lay your Jack Webb on her and flash your brain ray in her face and she's gonna end up with leukemia or some shit. The woman's a doctor, she doesn't need you erasing half her med school classes. Take me five minutes.
KAY : Pull up the locations of all land-based interstellar vehicles.
ZED : They're all gone. Frank the Pug took the last ship on the planet.
KAY : Atlantic City?
ZED : Gone.
KAY : That landfill on the Jersey Shore?
ZED : Gone.
JAY : Uh, gentlemen.
KAY : Epcot?
ZED : Gone.
KAY : Miami Beach?
ZED : Gone.
JAY : Fellas.
KAY : Hartford?
ZED : Gone, thank God.
JAY : Hey. Old guys.
Kay and Zed both look up at once, scowling.
JAY : Do those still work?
I haven't been training a partner -- I've been training a replacement.
- Kay
That's the end of the MIB script... but halfway through i found the LOTR one... but it starts from the second one... i dunno where's the first....
so... LOTR : Two Towers
Oh yes, lovely – Lembas bread. And look! More lembas bread.
I am wasted on cross-country! We dwarves are natural sprinters! Very dangerous over short distances!
- Gimli
I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.
- Eomer
Hiro îth… ab 'wanath... (May they find peace in death)
- Legolas
Cold be heart and hand and bone. Cold be travellers far from home.
They do not see what lies ahead, when sun has failed and moon is dead.
- Gollum
Oh. You would not part an old man from his walking stick?
- Gandalf
Sméagol: They are young. They are tender. They are nice. Yes they are! Eat them! Eat them!
Sam: You’ll make him sick, you will, behaving like that! There’s only one way to eat a brace of coneys.
Sméagol:Argh!! What’s it doing! Stupid fat hobbit! It ruins it!
Sam: What’s to ruin? There’s hardly any meat on ‘em.
Sam: What we need is a few good taters.
Gollum: What’s taters, preciousss? What’s taters uh?
Sam: PO-TAY-TOES! Boil ‘em. Mash ‘em. Stick ‘em in a stew. Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish....
Sméagol: Pbbbttt!!
Sam: Even you couldn’t say no to that.
Sméagol: Oh yes we could! Spoil nice fish... Give it to usss rrraw... and wrrriggling! You keep nasty chips.
Sam: You’re hopeless.
Gimli: It’s true you don’t see many Dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, haha that they’re often mistaken for Dwarf men.
Aragorn: It’s the beards.... (Whispers)
Gimli: And this, in turn, has given rise to the belief that there are no Dwarf women. And that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground!
Bring your pretty face to my axe!
- Gimli
Frodo: We are hobbits of the Shire. Frodo Baggins is my name and this is Samwise Gamgee.
Faramir: Your bodyguard?
Sam: His gardener.
The rock and pool is nice and cool, so juicy sweet! I only wish to catch a fish, so juicy sweet!
- Gollum
If we had more time I’d get this adjusted. It’s a little tight across the chest.
- Gimli
I bring word from Elrond of Rivendell. An alliance once existed between Elves and men. Long ago we fought and died together. We come to honor that allegiance.
- Haldir
Gimli: You could have picked a better spot.
Gimli: Well lad, whatever luck you live by, let’s hope it lasts the night.
Legolas: Your friends are with you, Aragorn.
Gimli: Let’s hope they last the night.
Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?
- Legolas
Gimli: Legolas, two already!
Legolas: I’m on seventeen!
Gimli: Argh! I’ll have no pointy-ear outscoring me!
Gimli: Come on! We can take ‘em!
Aragorn: It’s a long way.
Gimli: Toss me.
Aragorn: What?
Gimli: I cannot jump the distance! You’ll have to toss me!
Gimli: Oh! Don’t tell the Elf.
Aragorn: Not a word.
Let this be the hour when we draw swords together. Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath! Now for ruin! And a red dawn!
- Théoden
Sam: I wonder if we’ll ever be put into songs or tales.
Frodo: What?
Sam: I wonder if people will ever say, ‘let’s hear about Frodo and the Ring.’ And they’ll say ‘yes, that’s one of my favorite stories. Frodo was really courageous, wasn’t he, dad.’ ‘Yes, my boy, the most famousest of hobbits. And that’s saying alot.’
Frodo: Huh, you left out one of the chief characters – Samwise the Brave. I want to hear more about Sam.
Frodo: Frodo wouldn’t have got far without Sam.
Sam: Now Mr. Frodo, you shouldn’t make fun. I was being serious.
Frodo: So was I.
Sam: Samwise the Brave...
END OF LOTR TT
